drawing lines

One of my favorite episodes of Felicity is the one where she cuts her hair off. In one of her ever-present internal monologues, she ponders if there are certain things that if you give up, if you change on, if those traits disappear or you’re willing to compromise on them you’ll no longer be “you”. She notes that the scary thing is that in pretending to be something she’s not, saying she’s okay with a relationship structured in a way that she doesn’t really like that she’s getting what she wants. The guy’s there, but then you realize in the end, what do you really have? I think it’s a valid concept in parts, for sure.

I think people come into your life and you can’t help be changed in some fashion – whether it’s something so seemingly inconsequential as introducing you to a new type of music or, as is more often the case, exposing you to something new and stretching you in ways you never would have anticipated – sometimes positive or sometimes it’s instead a hard lesson. Something you might not have ultimately opted in on if you’d known where you’d end up landing.

It’s hard – but I think Felicity had it right and I’ve done it too. You have to know when circumstances on a relationship are causing you to potentially lose something that’s essential to you – a contributing factor to making you who you are. Before you lose yourself too far along that road. And then you deal with the subsequent path – the yes, the no, or the waiting to see how it will pan out.

But you know what? I like me. And I’m just not willing to give up who I am for anyone. And I don’t really think anyone should.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

3 thoughts on “drawing lines

  1. Wow, LJ. It’s funny how I can read a post at some random moment and have it resonate with me in a way I didn’t expect. I imagine that you were thinking of someone in particular when you wrote this, as I was thinking of someone in particular when I read it. It’s hard to know when the “pluses” of being changed by someone are better than what you see as possible “minuses,” huh?

  2. Zan – absolutely. Glad you can relate. Definitely a fine balance and knowing when those minuses have tipped the scale too far in the other direction. Doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

    Heidi – absolutely! I’ll admit to owning all on DVD and just thinking about it, might be watching lots of DVDs this upcoming week. Never gets old.

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